11/8: i've missed so much of the superstar competition esp the guys part cos i'm in jap class.. so today when i was looking at the results, derrick was out.. b4 he sing z-chen song' hen xiang ni' , i duno him..
but as i watch him sing, ho whe thank his family and how his fans cried.. i'm kind of touched.. tis song is very meaningful and he sang real well.. from tt moment onwards, he's the best! hahaa.. even though he's out la but he has won himself another fan..
13/8 sat: nv go for src bbq today since since i'm such a friendless person.. no pt.. went for dinner wif my grandma and my uncle together wif my family..
my uncle bought his gf along!! he's 40 + tis yr le ba.. but still looking young.. no balding, no big stomach.. tall and handsome.. hahaa.. tink his gf is a few yrs younger than him..
duno when they get together but thru the cinversation they had over dinner, it seems that they ar gg to rom soon.. wow.. tt means i can attend wedding dinner real soonn.. i luv wedding dinners!
15/8 tue: on my way to work today, as usual on bus 854 which i'll sit till my back breaks, there's tis obaasan whu sit beside mi.. she start to clear her bag to kill time, throwing all those unwanted rubbish onto the floor.. i keep glaring at her.. wth.. i hate old ppl whu tink they ar old and it's okie to do anything.. cos they dun hav any image to uphold already..
but tt's very very wrong.. if u dun respect urself how u wan me to give u the respect? if u wan to disgrace urself then there's no way i can stop u..
spend so much time dl songs these days.. and there's still so much that i cant dl.. i'm tired.. i shd be satisfied..
i'm really tired... i like jj song 'tu ran lei le'.. tt somewhat describes how i feel..
i'm some sort at the low pt again.. there's always no 1 to pull me up cos i dun allow any1 to do so.. i had lots of thinking and problems.. maybe i invented them myself.. most prob.. troubles always start wif thinking too much..
when ppl tried to help by asking y, esp the so called close frens, i juz couldnt tell them.. it works tis way rite.. at times it's the hardest to say wat u tink to ppl closer to u..
so i had to hide and squeeze them into the bottomless hole in my heart..
now i'm always hostile cos i dun wan ppl to get close to the hole and they will fall into it.. it's a no end way.. dun sink wif mi.. i'll do it myself..
i hate to talk these days.. i juz feel that watever i say is juz rubbish to ppl.. the moment i talk, they already tie up their eardrums.. and the reply is always a sneer, a 'look away wif a weird kind of smile on the face' or simply dun reply..
not onli this.. smt ppl ar juz sensitive to onli some ppl's actions.. and they tried to mix as 1 by keep talking and laughing at tt person's jokes.. bootlicker.. watever.. the respect level goes down.. and i find less reason to talk to the person..
whuever i'm talking abt is not the pt here.. dun hav to pt out, say so much abt wat i dislike onli to put strain.. wat i tink of may not be wat ppl tink.. they will juz find u unreasonable..
ppl always say when u hav prob, sit down and say all out.. but it's not exactly useful.. truth is always cruel.. counsellor is not always rite..
but when u dun say ppl tink u dun trust them and they start to stay away from u oso.. wat the heck..
i hate to interact wif ppl these days oso.. now i'm starting to had a feel of y some ppl ar anti social.. it's not wat they wan.. env, ppl etc ard them play a part..
i wan to try to be anti social.. i planned to take leave on my bday and make it my day.. do watever i wan to do and disappear for the day..
sh was saying suna free to hav dinner on my bday.. sh got lesson till 4, yy will be working.. thx for her effort to wan to celebrate bday for mi.. and it's gg to be a tradition that we shd hav dinner on each other's bday.. they wanted smt new.. so c how la..
even if dun go anywhere presents ar still welcome..
i'm not interested in wat's happening to others.. i cant even take care of myself.. i'm a self centered attention seeker kid but likes to keep my own big patch of freedom..
i'm not interested in growing up.. hav u ever wonder if u ar not humans wat u wan to be? until now i haven or not able to tink of smt best to replace human being.. hahaa.. i'll continue thinking..
i'm a very loyal person whu keeps my faith.. i duno if ppl ever realise tis but if they really need help, i'm always there.. that's wat they say a fren in need is a fren indeed.. and it's so relistic cos they come onli when they need help.. but all of us can do tis so nth special.. dun tok bout $ i dun hav them but ppl always tink i'm rich..
of cos i did that oso.. very often.. onli go to ppl when i need help.. hahaa.. humans ar the best thing but they ar too complicated, hard to fathom..
