hei hei nv wrote long long entry for some time.. lol.. look @ my frens' blog saying they are lost and at the crossroad @ some pt in the life makes mi remember y i stop blogging.. maybe i'm trying to put an end to the yr by summarizing it up in words..
i started blogging in jul 04 after that fang wan mi to set up.. since set up y not juz type smt? everything was fine and well till mar 2005 ba.. i started to become very persimistic abt practical everything, friendship, kinship, my life, wat i'm doin blah blah.. and it juz doesnt end.. i duno who to find to talk abt.. seem like u nid to find some1 wise but no generation gap.. i dun c that kind of ppl ard.. juz bottle it up, and it juz keep building up within mi.. i tot blog was the onli place i could voice out..
i start to hate everything ard mi and myself.. tis juz go on till i stop blogging.. i stopped complaining, stop whining like a child.. stop it.. i've played victim for a long time for no reason.. when i come to realise that it's already dec 2005.. 9 mths has passed..
guess how i woke up from my nightmare?? i watch an anime call 'twelve kingdom' on arts central one nite and it says abt how 1 of tis character pity herself and played victim.. makes ppl feel like puking.. i guess that's how ppl ard mi felt? they sense sometime was wrong but duno wat? juz feel irritated by me? oh but of cos hope u all feel smt.. if not, well, maybe i conceal too well.. haha.. =p
after 2005 exam, i started work and has been busy till now.. life was great.. so i couldnt stop moving for a moment.. stop and i'll be sad.. stop and i'll think too much..
actually afternoon lec is great.. till now, my last yr of studies then i realise tt..i slept well these days after sch reopen and ate well too.. lol.. becoming fatter lor even though it's not obvious..
of cos until now i still haven found out the meaning of life, y i'm here and so on and so forth.. but if u cant get an answer, ask! if u cant get an answer by asking, STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. SERIOUSLY.. dun ask yourself qn u DUNO, COS DUNO MEANS DUNO!! no pt cracking ur brain over it..
the sad pt abt last yr is tt i couldnt find some1 whom i tink i can talk to.. but it's all over.. and i dun wan it back..
i remembered 1 issue i'm quite bothered abt is 'growing up' at some pt during 2005.. i hav not accepted it but juz learn to let go of it.. i only wan to noe wat it is like when i go to work.. tt's where u c all adults.. here in sch? mostly students so continue to be 1.. accept it when u suddenly come to realise that u hav a liking for let's say, heels? and oso maybe high end stuff that u noe u cant afford now.. u are changing..
at some pt last yr i oso wonder y ppl change.. and i tink the biggest change happen to the sec sch lot.. maybe we always hang out tt's y i feel that way.. i've oso learn tt the change will be for good.. so dun resist it..
hav i changed?? any1 can tell mi ma? for the better or for the worse??
last of all i am happy now.. yea.. "ZHI JU CHANG LE" dun feel as empty as b4.. appropriate amt of busy is gd.. =D =P BE HAPPY!!
