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Friday, August 28, 2009
11:34 pm

to my blog, I really think my parents only has eye for that idiot brother of mine.
I believe she prepare the water for him. Listen to him find a job.

y wont she listen to me? Be it complains or chit chat. She is not interested in my life. She just want money from me. It is good u have a job. Ya I know. And she thought I do not cherish it. Ya I don’t. I don’t care.

I am not happy. Ever since I went to uni? I was still fine in jc but I thought that's a very wrong choice after that. Y did I listen to my parents? I must be crazy. This is not being filial, it is a fatal mistake to myself.

they don’t care whether I am happy or not. They just want me to make money to support them. Fuck.

what am I to them? Money tree?

I'm not smart. Now I'm stuck.

I wish I could disappear to somewhere, emigrate to somewhere else.

I yearn for love. Some care, concern and hugs.

I know what I'm doing, how I'm acting will not get me to what I wish for.

what to do?

because I'm so ordinary, people neglect me. Because I'm so quiet, peopl e don’t notice me.

what the hell have I been doing? Gradually as I age, I make less friends. I socalise less..

I felt lonely now. I deserve it.

all because of that ugly face I have during uni days. Y me?

y cant I be true to myself?

I'm missing out so much in life.

I am suffocating because of my beliefs.

I hate myself..

I hate myself for being too independent.

I hate myself for trying to be perfect.

I hate myself for being so obdient.

I hate myself for no confidence

I hate myself for no motivation.

I hate myself for

I really tried to come to peace with myself. I tried to be a better person after working, after I have seen a worse side of everything.

entering this job half heartedly.

as I work, I cannot help but feel that I'm underpaid.

I hate people playing so much game while working.

this is the 1st time I saw anyone play so much game during work.

I cannot understand their perspective about work. What is this man?!

it's so unfair. After playing game for the whole day, they can actually complain about having too much work. Fuck.

companies I work as temp arent like that. This slack idiot far away place. What is the meaning behind putting me here?

to train me? I am not trying to be a saint. Don’t do this.

I'm not thick skinned enough.

I think I'm the only one that finds her irritating when she browae internet. Others find her friendly, nice, helpful. I do not deny that.
she knows who is the higher authority, who to sweet talk..

god, are you trying to make me see that I should try to be this way?

how many more months do I have to stay here? What is economy crisis? I don’t know.

I am past adolenscence but I want to seek attention.

I will continue to improve myself. I will try to be a better, happier person.

Please bless me. Please help me find my way.

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